1 in 5 people in the U.S. are tattooed, so any workplace could represent a healthy cross section of modern American culture. That being said, the gentleman’s bar is a magical conversational-free zone that contributes to the two top factors that influence patrons (and sometimes co-workers) to be more forward in their curiosity of the ink they see on a stripper’s body, than that of a civilian. First, most of our skin is clearly and fabulously visible and secondly, we act as mysterious hedonistic therapists/companions that are unfazed by any comment or question about nearly anything. Almost no topic is off limits, and therefore, there is no escape from silly commentary, inquiries, or advice on our tattoos. I’m not even the most heavily tattooed dancer I know, but here are some of my favorites:
1. “Explain to me the meaning of all your tattoos” (this is the most frequent).
2. (Patron roughly grabs arm or leg without permission) “OH MY GOD! Is that a tattoo?!”
3. “You look like you’d be a bitch with those tattoos and piercings, but you’re actually really nice.”
4. “Tattoos are just a trend, you’ll regret that someday.”
5. “ Your tattoo is awesome! What do you think of mine?” (Lifts shirt or pant leg to reveal an unintelligible blog of green ink.)
6. “Don’t get any more tattoos than that or you’ll get cancer. I saw that on TV.”
7. “Don’t get any more tattoos, or you won’t be pretty.”
8. “You’ll never make any money with those tattoos.” This gentleman later drank too much and gave me $600…the irony.
9. “You’ll never have a real job.”
10. “Laser surgery is going to be so expensive!”
11. “You’ve trashed your beautiful body.”
12. “Have you been to jail?”
13. “Do tattoos hurt? Which one hurt the worst?”
14. “I normally don’t like women with tattoos or piercings, but you’re still pretty sexy, so it’s OK.”
15. “Can I lick your tattoo? It’s so hot.”
16. “I wish my wife/girlfriend had tattoos.”
17. “Are you in a band?”
To be fair, tattooed entertainers receive a lot of genuine praise alongside the annoying or insensitive commentary. In fact, there aren’t a big percentage of strippers anymore without at least a small amount of ink and/or modification, so it’s really not so unusual anymore. This is meant to be a truthfully comedic snapshot of my experience and probably thousands of other tattooed pole-princesses everywhere.
Support your local inked and fantastically libertarian entertainers!